Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
