I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
