I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
