I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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