How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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