Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
