It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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