party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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