Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
