I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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