K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
