my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
