We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
