Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my being single is dangerous.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
third nipple confirmed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
