did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
