hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
