i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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