grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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