Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
