i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
