Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
