I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
