I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
