i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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