Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
