i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
