Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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