Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've blown a few things in my day
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
