I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were trust falling into bushes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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