Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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