ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
