There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i dont even know how to be here
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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