It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
