i already hear my dad disowning me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
