i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
