The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
