bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
