dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
