my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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