how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
