We're like a lot better than the average bears
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
