can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
