omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
