shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
