just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
