Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
