I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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