How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
