I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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