I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You can't special order awesome
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
