who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
